44 Comments
User's avatar
SUR's avatar

Oh no, Ben! We’re glad you’re okay. Great storytelling, though.

We were so happy to have you and Jess. SUR keeps asking, “when’s St. Clair coming back?”

Also, if my energy towards you felt off on Sunday, I assure you it was nothing personal. That’s my working-face. And by the way, the name’s Suresh. 😉

Ben Sinclair's avatar

No sweat Suresh. My energy was clearly off too. Jess and I felt so welcomed. And, yeah, I get it, loud and clear. He’s amazing. You guys have something special going on there. We’ll be back real soon ❤️

Molly Coffin's avatar

My son has CP, uses a wheelchair, is nonverbal and is cognitively impaired. We live in uber earnest Seattle, where the r word is generally frowned upon. It makes me feel sad when I hear “retqrded” (spellcheck says “no replacements found 🙄) used as an insult, as in “stupid,” but my $.02 here: context and intent matter. I don’t get the sense that you aimed to do anything more in this post than vividly describe your experience. I appreciate the footnote though, and what appears to be your honesty. I might have been more bothered if it came from some guy, rather than from *the* guy though - the gentle, one love guy on TV. Also, the mom in me is worried about you. I don’t want you to get into an accident or turn your brain to mush.

Ben Sinclair's avatar

I appreciate your every word of this. Thank you for your concern, your understanding, your thoughtful reply. I am being honest in that the evening was an impactful turning point, and I while I've been able to surmount weed addiction, I'm still not out of the woods with substances. But as SUR said to me, "the brain heals."

Mateo San Pedro's avatar

Hopefully you are able to withold excessive positive or negative thoughts about what you went through; and simply just learned whole heaps about yourself because of what you experienced. I wish you more learning ahead, in whatever form that takes. - matt

Ben Sinclair's avatar

Good call, Matt. It’s all good info

Kate Sanford's avatar

Hey,

Listening, concerned about you. This story was incredibly fascinating and also seriously dangerous. Rest, drink lots of water, sleep. I hope you’re OK.

Also, FWIW, I don’t view sharing (writing, optioning) someone’s story as necessarily objectifying. Could be generous, could be enlightening, could be mutually beneficial.

Also, Hollywood sucks and crushes everyone eventually.

xo

Ben Sinclair's avatar

So true re: Hollywood. Seen it firsthand. And now that they know me, I think it’s all good on that front. I am OK and feeling very lucky. have been keeping it very simple in the days since. Thanks as always Kate.

Rgb09's avatar
1dEdited

Letterman is SUR, SUR is Letterman. Also enjoyed this post. I wondered about the use of that word you made a footnote excuse for using, before I came to read the footnote. Curious how people feel if someone acknowledges there was no harm meant, but that the word itself is inherently harmful? And that if someone takes offense, you’re accountable and open to changing it. I think, regardless of truth, it’s better to not use words like this? And it seems you are very lucky to be alive, with Ben St. Clair’s brain intact at that!

Ben Sinclair's avatar

As I said, won't defend its use. As Bohr said, an electron appears as a particle in one experiment, a wave in another — not both at once, but genuinely, mutually exclusive depending on how you look. The experiment itself determines which reality appears.

Josh Liveright's avatar

I think you're lucky to have the life you have. It's beautiful and the full fucking catastrophe. I wouldn't have done those drugs at this point in my life but probably would have ten years ago. Also, I truly think you're writing is top notch. Well done whoever you are.

Ben Sinclair's avatar

Thanks Josh. I think so too. And from your writing, I think the same of you.

The Trauma Report's avatar

Wait until Steve finds out there is no difference between the addict and the seeker, bless his heart.

Heather Clendenin LeMoine's avatar

Love the bluntness of your writing and your stories. Take care of you.

Ben Sinclair's avatar

thanks heather. it’s one of the only activities of late where I feel liek I’m not wasting my time. means the world to hear it

Marta PB's avatar

Waking up to a world falling apart, I love finding your posts, with that real and funny way to experience this all. Your stories navigate from the universal subconscious despair after reading the news , into journeys of escapism, guilt and search for purpose. Perfect portrait of our US lives.

I read retarded in relation to time diluting, too, so it felt right on point and poetic.

Thanks for keeping it funny, poetic and real. And edgy. And performative, ha! It’s your condemn.

<3

Ben Sinclair's avatar

Marta this perspective has been echoing throughout my day. It's my condemn. School of wonder!

Violeta's avatar

I am riveted, regardless if Steve has a point or not.

Ben Sinclair's avatar

steves are pointy!

A. Razor's avatar

Quite the journey we are on…

Ben Sinclair's avatar

Just wait until people start using the prediction market

Jimy Valenti's avatar

Excellent writing, story telling. Riveted by every post along the way. Thanks for sharing. Sending love and hope your brain’s back to feeling ok.

Ben Sinclair's avatar

It's seems like it works well enough to apply quantum mechanics to a night of partying.

Bri-Bri's avatar

Michael Frayn represent.

Graeme McGregor's avatar

I really enjoy your writing. You got a book in you? Short stories perhaps?

Ben Sinclair's avatar

Lincoln and the K-hole

Nate Stranzl's avatar

What a journey. Rooting for you Ben

Anna Schott's avatar

It’s been crazy following this story from the discovery of the video, to this. I like reading drug stories, it seems like they somehow access a different part of the brain/memory than usual in the recalling.

Ben Sinclair's avatar

i have a feeling it keeps going...